Common Law Courts

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Common Law Courts

Postby Srf » Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:43 pm

The large mahogany doors swung open, allowing a diminutive man in thin-rimmed glasses and a cheap suit to shuffle into the courtroom and take a seat behind a bench in the left-hand corner. The judge nodded as he sat down and addressed the audience.

"Please be seated. Ladies and Gentlemen of the court, I return to the case of Yaqom versus the Tondyim Survivor's Association - a collection of two hundred and three plaintiffs. The accused, one mister Battam Yaqom, has been summoned here on the charges of theft, detention without cause, grievous bodily harm, torture, unlawful killing, and genocide. Mister Yaqom, do you declare that you are here entirely of your own free will and have the right to leave at any time?"

"I do".

"And do you declare that your decision to forgo legal representation is entirely your own, and not one made in the face of physical or psychological coercion against either yourself or members of your family?"

"I do."

"And do you acknowledge that while within this courtroom you are acting under the jurisdiction and disciplinary codes of the Freiburg College of Law, and that, whilst not legally binding, the College shall reach a judgement on your alleged crimes based only on the evidence provided within this room?

"I do".

"Excellent. Then we may proceed with the judgement. Mr Yaqom, the plantiffs assert that, as a lieutenant in the former People's Self-Defence Forces of the former Sharfic People's Democratic Republic, you operated a concentration camp in the town of Tondyim. The alleged bodily harm, murders and tortures took place in the grounds of this camp, a former public school, which at its height interned over three thousand Sovereign Sharfic Individuals of exclusively Vjiech ethnicity. The plaintiffs assert that, as a member of the PSDF Officer Corps, you participated in a joint criminal enterprise to exterminate the Vjiech population, seen as many in the PSDF leadership to be disproportionately sympathetic to the cause of Sovereign Independence. The plaintiffs cite evidence that over seven thousand interned civilians lost their lives between the opening of the camp in 1999 and the liberation of the camp in 2003, and claim that as the individual with command responsibility of the camp, these deaths are your liability".

The judge cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose, before turning toward Yaqom.

"These are the complaints made against you. Do you have any rebuttal?"

Yaqom inclined his head and stood up. He surveyed the crowd in front of him - the plaintiffs, a mix of young and old, man and woman, at the front, staring at him with intense hatred. Behind them roughly fifty witnesses and laypersons, with expressions from disgust to indifference. He coughed.

"Yes your honour. First I would like to confirm my rank and service within the former People's Self Defence Forces. I would also like to confirm my position as prefect of the Tondyim detention camp. However, these facts aside I vehemently deny the allegations brought against me. Tondyim housed only captured combatants and agitators. Innocent civilians were never a part of the camp's population. I wish to remind the judge that, at this point in time, Sovereign Sharfland remained within the territorial borders of the PDSR and was a non-viable state, hence the Cratean Accords on the Rights of the Prisoner did not apply to detainees from non-state armed groups such as the Associated Defence Forum. This granted us the right to enhanced interrogation and denial of luxuries - however, torture and physical violence were not a part of the sanction regime inside Tondyim.

"Onto the second point, that paints me as a mass-murderer and genocidal idealogue. I wish to remind the court that once able I defected from the Continuity Government of the Sharfic Republic - a state which I condemned publicly as racist, ethno-supremacist and illegitimate. I harbour no ill will against the Vjiech people and it is an unfortunate act of geography that I was assigned to an area with an overwhelming Vjiech population, which naturally altered the ethnic balance within the detention center. I certainly was not made aware of any planned genocide. I have provided the court with official documents of the Tondyim camp asserting that only three hundred people lost their lives, the overwhelming majority during the unfortunate riot that occured in January 2001. I maintain that the allegations against me are politically motivated by a staunchly Christian, anarchist association that seeks to persecute me due to my continued allegiance to world socialism and equality. Thank you".

Yaqom sat down quietly, peering at the judge and audience, and shuffled his papers aimlessly.

"Well, Mr Yaqom" the judge began, "I first remind you that the Freiburg College of Law, and indeed all associations within Sovereign Sharfland, reject the legitimacy of the Crataean Accords on the Rights of the Prisoner out of hand. This notwithstanding, I hear your defence and it has been added to the record. However, I have come to a judgement.

"On the one hundred and ten counts of theft, I find you not guilty. Despite the loss of personal effects sustained by the plaintiffs, it is impossible to render you liable when considering the chaotic nature of the retreat from the detention center in 2003."

"On the two hundred and three counts of detention without cause, I find you guilty of seventy-eight. These seventy-eight were children and adults of non-military age and were detained without conclusive evidence of their involvement in hostilities".

"On the two hundred and three counts of grievous bodily harm, I find you guilty. The testimony of the plaintiffs and your former subordinates, together with a comprehensive medical exam from Freiburg University Hospital, casts no doubt that severe and lasting physical injuries were received under your jurisdiction. The systematic nature of the violence ensures your knowledge".

"On the one hundred and nine counts of torture, I find you guilty of One hundred and one. The comprehensive medical exam carried out by Freiburg University Hospital reveals physical evidence of systematic burning of skin, electrocution, detention in stress position, destruction of the vagina, and psychological damage. Again, the systematic nature of the crimes committed removes all doubt that you were unaware of the proceedings".

"On the five hundred and seven counts of unlawful killing, I find you guilty of ten. Despite the discovery of several mass graves in and around the prison complex, the destruction of human remains via acid coupled with the disorganised and chaotic nature of the retreat from the camp leaves your level of involvement in these atrocities ambiguous. However, forensic evidence conducted by the Freiburg Medical University supports plaintiff testimony identifying you as the perpetrator of these unlawful killings".

"Of the one count of genocide, I find you not guilty. Despite the overwhelming ethnic imbalance of detainees at the Tondyim camp, I accept your argument that this is a true reflection of the demography of the local area, which is over 95% Vjiech. Your denunciations of the Continuity Regime and Sharfic supremacism have convinced me that you acted out of political, rather than ethnic, motivations".

The judge put down the sheet of paper and picked up another from his stack. "And now, Mr Yaqom, I must come to a sentence. There is no doubt that you were complicit in horrific atrocities against innocent civilians, going so far as to rob several of their lives. No matter what your political affiliations may be, I would bring shame upon the judicial profession if I did not recommend proportional retribution. Battam Yaqom, for the crimes you have committed I, acting as an agent of the Freiburg College of Law, sentence you to death by pugilism. The plaintiffs may choose the time, date and location of the sentence.

"However, taking into consideration your advanced age and physical weakness, I must make additional recommendations. I declare that a three-generation blood feud exists between the plaintiffs, descendants of the plaintiffs, and the descendants of yourself. If your descendants are seen in any location outside of the grounds of the family home, either by a plaintiff or a descendant of a plaintiff, they may exercise the right to take the life of such a descendant. This blood feud shall remain in force until either forgiven by the plaintiffs or descendants, or when all of your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are deceased, or when the recommendation is overturned by another judge operating at the Freiburg College of Law. Mr Yaqom, do you accept this judgement?"

"Yaqom swallowed, and solemnly nodded. "I do".

"Plaintiffs, do you accept this judgement?"

The association's lawyer leaned into a microphone. "My clients accept".

"And when do your clients wish to enact the sanction?"

The lawyer ducked toward the survivors, conferred some hushed whispers and returned to the microphone. "Now, your honour".

The judge turned to Yaqom. "Is this acceptable?"

Yaqom nodded again. He, the plaintiffs and the judge rose to their feet, and slowly filed out of the right hand door, Yaqom flanked by a pair of court security officers. The procession made their way down a brightly lit hallway, stopping at an unmarked iron door. The judge opened it with a heavy metal key, and motioned at Yaqom. "Please step in, Mr Yaqom".

Yaqom, trembling now, removed his glasses and tucked them into his jacket pocket before stepping into the bare concrete-walled room. He made his way across the straw-coated floor to the far wall and turned around, making fierce eye contact as the two hundred and three victims of his crimes filed into the room and assembled between him and the door.

"Mr Yaqom, any final words?" The judge asked, as the men of the group pulled off their blazers and rolled up their sleeves.

"I did everything for my country" Yaqom stated, flatly. The judge nodded, and the victims advanced to within a foot of Yaqom, not daring to throw the first punch. Then the small old man let out a sob, and the fists were unleashed in a raging storm that broke over his head, shoulders and torso. Within two minutes it was over, the bloodied corpse of the former lieutenant prostate on the floor, his face grotesquely bulged and his suit soaked in blood, saliva and grey matter. The judge rang a bell as a priest ran towards the body.

"Justice has been served".

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Re: Common Law Courts

Postby Questers » Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:17 pm


Case closed on 14/10/16 ...
Mr B, son of Azful, of 42 Jalan Singa, requested New Lights Joinery to do some work on his house. He alleged the work was done poorly and later caused damage to his house. Mr B requested the PCJ to make a judgment on the circumstances. An agent of the PCJ, along with an independent assessor, decided upon the facts that the damage done was valued at 715 Ringgit Pahang. The PCJ agent contacted New Lights Joinery and informed them of his decision. New Lights Joinery did not agree with the outcome and discussed with the independent assessor the matter. The damages were revalued at 675 RP, to which Mr B agreed. Under the direction of the PCJ, New Lights Joinery paid 675 RP along with 55 RP legal costs to Mr B, as well as a sum of 105.55 RP for the cost to Mr B's insurance. The cost was born by New Lights Joinery's insurer. Mr B was invoiced for the sum of 175 RP in legal work, which was paid by his insurer.

Case closed on 14/10/16 ...
Mr T, of 305 Jalan 42/4, alleged that he was punched by Mr P, of 305 Jalan 42/3, for a comment on Mr P's wife. Mr T contacted an agent of the PCJ in order to secure justice. Mr P denied this allegation. Witnesses in adjoining flats refused to speak to agents of the PCJ, and our agent decided that it was impossible to ascertain the facts. Mr T was invoiced for the sum of 42 RP in legal work, which was paid by his insurer.

Case closed on 14/10/16 ...
Mr J, of 190 Jalan Bukit Signal, had his bicycle stolen. He contacted an agent of the PCJ who requested that the Watch's Investigation Squad find the bicycle. The bicycle was found at the address of a Mr V of 14/2 Jalan 6 The King's Street. Mr V accused one of the members of his house staff, Mr APK, of stealing the bicycle. The man was apprehended and admitted to stealing it to a member of the Watch's Investigation Squad. The bicyle was returned to Mr J who was invoiced for the sum of 958 RP in legal and enforcement work. Mr APK did not have insurance to claim against and was detained by the Watch, so Mr J's insurer offered a period of twelve months indenture with Pahang Indenture. Mr APK did not agree, and Mr J's insurer requested the Watch bring Mr APK to a Pahang Indenture institution. The charge for doing so was 155 RP. The matter was settled between Mr J's insurer and Pahang Indenture.
[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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Re: Common Law Courts

Postby Praetonia » Fri Oct 14, 2016 5:42 pm


Haversham, Week beginning 2nd December 2016

Mr Paul Candys, 49, of Haversham, applied on Monday for an estimate of restitution for property damage from the Metropolitan Court. Mr Candys claimed that Mr Aaron Randall, 37, also of Haversham, struck him multiple times outside the public house on Hawthorn Road, as a result of which his arm was broken. On the basis of medical records, the court concurred that bodily injury had been sustained by Mr Candys consistent with blows from a human fist.

Mr Randall, who accepted an invitation to attend, stated that he had quarrelled with Mr Candys and that Mr Candys had invited him into the car park to "settle the matter like men". This statement was denied by Mr Candys. Mr Randall then produced multiple witnesses who confirmed his account.

The court judged that the invitation by Mr Candys constituted consent to a duel reasonably understood to permit the blows causing his broken arm. The court estimated no restitution was owed to Mr Candys.

The court further contended that Mr Candys' testimony had been false and misleading, for which it provisionally demanded in forfeit ten times his likely gain from a successful petition, in accordance with his contract with the Metropolitan Court company. The court estimated this sum at five hundred pounds of silver. This contention has been referred for review to the First Riverside Court, Douneray.


Mr Fumio Ikema, 55, of Hokkaishu, applied on Thursday for an estimate of restitution for property damage from the Metropolitan Court. Mr Ikema claimed that Mr Samuel Billings, 17, of Haversham, spat gum in the entrance of the Ikema & Sons' Neighbourhood Accountancy building, of which Mr Ikema is co-proprietor. The court accepted video footage showing Mr Billings committing the act alleged by Mr Ikema. The court estimated restitution owed by Mr Billings to Mr Ikema at half an ounce of silver.

Records later deposited with the Metropolitan Court show that Mr Billings, who is unemployed, claimed to be unable to pay the owed restitution. Mr Ikema waived all claim to restitution after Mr Billings agreed to allow Mr Ikema to strike him three times on the rear thigh with a bamboo cane.
<leis2> Otoh i am also an antiquarian so im legitimately interested in how purple dye was made in sidon
<leis2> (using mollusks)

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Re: Common Law Courts

Postby Preston » Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:05 pm

Chimay Court of Arbitration, Selected Cases



Facts of Case: Respondent and Appellant entered into a romantic relationship from 21/3/2011. On 21/3/2015, Respondent proposed marriage to Appellant, which was accepted; Respondent sealed proposal with one (1) diamond ring valued at two-thousand five-hundred (2,500) thaler of silver. On 28/9/2016, Respondent dissolved his relationship with Appellant, citing irreconcilable differences, and requested the return of aforementioned diamond ring. Appellant declined, citing it as an unconditional gift, and filed motion for arbitration by this Court citing breach of contract. Respondent was notified of intent to seek arbitration by officers of this Court on 02/10/2016 and agreed to be bound by the terms thereof. Also on 02/10/2016, Respondent filed counter-claim for the return of property in the sum of two-thousand five-hundred (2,500) thaler of silver, namely, aforementioned diamond ring.

Both parties agreed to waive their right to civil trial under the laws of the Commonwealth, and to be bound by the decision of this Court within the framework of the Common Law.

Final Judgement: Per Warburton v. Sims (Hav. Metro. Ct., 1906) an engagement of marriage constitutes a binding verbal contract. We find that no mitigating circumstances (e.g. infidelity, gross abuse, or deception) existed within the bounds of relationship between Respondent and Appellant. We further reject Respondent's claim that "irreconcilable differences," namely, the refusal of Appellant to cohabitate prior to consummation of marriage, constitute reasonable grounds for dissolution of contract. We therefore find Respondent liable for breach of contract, and order the payment of five-hundred (500) thaler of silver to Appellant as damages.

Per Murphy v. Ward-Sterling (Hav. Metro. Ct., 1926) gifts of real property of a value greater than 150 silver sovereigns within the bounds of a marriage engagement are to be considered conditional upon the consummation of marriage, unless otherwise specified and agreed upon by both parties. Engagement rings, as tokens of contract, are specifically excluded from this judgement. We therefore find that aforementioned diamond ring is an unconditional gift, voluntarily and irrevocably surrendered from the possession of Respondent to that of Appellant.

Costs of one-hundred fifty-seven (157) thaler of silver are invoiced to each party for legal services rendered.


Mister Paul van Buren, on behalf of CAFE BILDERBERG LTD

Facts of Case: At approximately 2100 hours on the evening of 30/09/2016, Respondent was dining at named establishment of which principle Appellant is sole proprietor. Respondent ordered foodstuffs and cocktails in the sum of forty-three thaler and seventy-one cents (Th. 43.71). Following consumption of the meal, sometime between 2127 and 2132, respondent departed the premises without tendering payment. Appellant filed motion for arbitration with this Court on 01/10/2016 seeking restitution to the amount of forty-three thaler and seventy-one cents (Th. 43.71) from Appellant.

Appellant was duly served on 02/10/2016 and accepted a summons to this Court, waving his right to have the matter adjudicated under the civil laws of the Commonwealth and accepting the decision of this Court to be binding under the framework of the Common Law.

Final Judgement: Per Singh v. Verandah Cafe (Pahang Ct. Justice, 1899) we hold that the ordering of cocktails and foodstuffs from a restaurant or similar establishment creates a binding contract between patron and proprietor for performance of service to the stated effect, and payment thereof. Respondent alleges that foodstuffs (namely, one (1) filet mignon) were not cooked to requested specifications and, as such, any contract which existed between Respondent and Appellant was null and void. Respondent further states that reasonable attempt to gain satisfaction of the matter was made at time of purchase, namely, by informing waitstaff of the discrepancy. Witnesses produced by Appellant refute this narrative, stating that the meal was consumed in full and no complaint was offered.

We find Respondent liable for costs incurred, and order the payment of the amount of forty-three thaler and seventy-one cents (Th. 43.71) to be tendered to Appellant with immediate effect. We further find that Respondent did knowingly and willfully make false, misleading and deceptive statements to this Court for the purpose of perverting the course of Justice, and assess punitive damages of the amount of one-hundred fifty thaler (Th. 150.00) payable to this Court with immediate effect.

Costs in the amount of ninety-seven thaler (Th. 97.00) are invoiced to Respondent for cost of legal services borne by Appellant in the course of Justice.

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Re: Common Law Courts

Postby Questers » Sat Nov 05, 2016 5:05 pm


To-day the Herald is proud to present an insider scoop on an incredible affair which transpired here in Jesselton only yesterday, in which a gang of dacoits were captured and punished for their crimes.

The story begins in the leafy and orderly suburbs of Westwood Green. Here, on Friday last, a terrible crime happened. The house of Martin Singh, a Eurasian Sikh, was broken into by four dacoits armed with cutlasses and automatic pistols. A brief scuffle ensued, in which Mr. Singh, who had drawn his pistol, was shot and killed by one of the dacoits. His wife and daughter were then cruelly and outrageously savaged by these bandits, who made off with radios, televisions, and Mr. Singh's Land Rover.

With great fortitude, Mrs. Singh called the Watch at once. Samples of deoxyribonucleic acid (D.N.A.), ejaculate, and fingerprints were taken and banked with United Forensics, that great forensics database of the Commonwealth. By an honourable and charitable order of the King's Sheriff in Jesselton, four Gorkhas of the Watch were then posted to the house. Sergeant Thapa of the Watch, who led the patrol, swore that any dacoit who dared to return would be killed by his Kukri. The Singh family, thereby satisfied that their security was well in hand, made a claim with their insurer, Mogami General Safety, who put out a reward: fifteen Pounds of Silver for each bandit, dead or alive!

The Land Rover was tracked by an ingenious device built lately in Praetonia which the cautious Mr. Singh had purchased: a LiveTracker Auto, which by means of satellite tracking, made available to the Watch the exact location of the vehicle, which was discovered burned in a slum in northern Jesselton. At the same time, the samples which the bandits had left behind returned from the laboratory: these were no normal dacoits. They were in fact the Gang of the Black Foot, who had been terrorising the Nampata and the Srativaliland since the end of the mutiny. Immediately, the King's Sheriff put out his own reward: a Pound of Gold for information leading to the apprehension of these notorious and outrageous criminals.

The slum was surrounded by hundreds of Gorkhas of the Watch, and within hours, the location of the Gang had been reported. The Watch swooped and after a short shoot-out, in which one Gorkha and two dacoits were injured, the dacoits were captured: Sergeant Thapa, who had previously guarded the home of the deceased Mr. Singh, led the storming of the dacoit stronghold and after threatening the dacoits in a most fearsome and terrifying manner, they surrendered. They were brought quickly to the Watch's gaol in Jesselton. There they enlisted the help of the famous juror P. A. Abrams. Three days later they were presented to the Justice of the Peace, William Souper, at the Jesselton Central Court.

For hours, the Watch laid out their position. They had matched the samples of D.N.A. and fingerprints to hundreds of other cases lodged in the Nampata. A distraught Mrs. Singh recognised each of the dacoits at the witness box. Then for several more hours, the Juror Abrams tried to convince the Justice of the Peace Souper that the evidence presented was faulty, that these men had a good alibi, and that each dacoit had done nothing, and if the Watch were to kill them, it would be murder for which retaliation could be brought. Eventually, at mid-day the next day, Justice Souper made his judgment. It reads:

'I am convinced that these ghastly and heinous crimes were in fact committed by you. There is a trail of blood from Watchport to Jesselton to which you are connected by strong evidence.' Then Justice Souper put on his black cap. 'It is the judgment of this court that you, having committed crimes to which there can be no mortal restitution, may be put to death lawfully at the hands of any person, in a manner which, while pleasing them, does not outrage God. And that this court condemns certainly any person who makes a claim against those who may choose to put you to death. May God have mercy upon your souls.'

The dacoits were then taken by the Watch to gaol, where they were hanged in the suspension-method, as is the custom in the Western Commonwealth for bandits. The people of Jesselton can rest easy in their beds at night knowing that these criminals have finally been brought to justice.
[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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