ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Pint of bitter?
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby satilisu » Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:56 pm

It's tonkatsu. Now you can make your own.

Battle Order
-3 tupperware tubs
-some kind of high-walled pan or wok
-something to dry the finished pork chops on

-Pork chops

1. Pour oil into the pan/wok/pot. You will need to pour enough to deep fry. Bring oil to a sizzle when you are ready.
2. Place pork chops on counter.
3. Place flour in a tub between the pork chops and the pan.
4. Beat eggs, pour into a tub between the flour and the pan.
5. Place panko in the tub between the eggs and the pan.
6. Take pork chop, place into flour, then eggs, then panko. Flip the pork chop in each tub and move it around so both faces and the sides are covered.
7. Place pork chop in the frying pan, deep fry until a deep brown.
8. Remove katsu from the frying pan and dry.
9. Repeat steps 6-8 for all pork chops.
10. Enjoy.

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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Wolo » Sat Aug 24, 2019 3:22 pm

Wolo's Bean Burritos

Wow another bean recipe! Big filling lads, guaranteed to cause prolonged intestinal trauma.
Makes about 6 burritos worth.

Battle Order
- 1 big pot or pan
-1 potato masher
-1 wooden spoon
-1 colander
-1 kettle, boiled

- A pound or so of beans, tinned or dried, just whatever you have. Obviously soak dried beans over night.
- 1 large onion
- 4 cloves of garlic
- However many chilies you like, I've used a habanero with some pickled jalapenos.
- tablespoon or so of chipotle chili flakes, if you don't have this just use some smoked paprika
- tablespoon of cumin
- probably half a tablespoon of dried oregano
- some grated cheese, I use cheddar.
- A good glug of worcester sauce
- 1 veg/chicken/pork stock cube
- some lard for frying, or any other oil/fat suitable for frying
- large tortillias
- things like salsa, guacamole, sour cream, lettuce if you want them
- salt and pepper

1. Rinse your beans well in the colander and set aside.
2. Dice your onion, garlic and chilies finely, get your chipotle, oregano and cumin ready to be added to the pot.
3. Melt your lard over medium high heat and fry your onions until they just begin to brown. I add some salt at this point.
4. Add your garlic and chilies, fry for about a minute. Now add your dry spices and mix well. Fry for a further minute
5. Add your beans and mix well, make sure they're well coated with the spices.
6. Add just enough boiled water to cover the beans and bring to a quick boil. Immediately reduce to a simmer. Add your stock cube and worchester sauce.
7. Begin to mash your beans. This is a gradual process to mash for a bit and stir. Continue until your beans have reached the desired consistency. If they're too thick, add a splash of water. Be sure to check for salinity.
8. Add your grated cheese and mix well.
9. Serve on warmed flour tortillas, garnish with whatever you like.
10. Batten down the hatches and prepare for turbulence.

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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Srf » Sun Sep 29, 2019 11:18 am


Battle order:
1 bottle of Zubrowka vodka (bisongrass edition. MAY be switched out with regular Zubrowka if needs must).
1+ cans of 500ml "Monster Energy" 0% sugar edition (silver can).

Battle tactics:
Ensure all ingredients are chilled - Zubrowka to freezer temperature. Monster to refrigerator temperature.
Decant a rough double measure of zubrowka into a small glass (for added flavour and energy, use as cheap a glass as possible).
Crack open the Monster energy with a flourish (important). Pour slowly into the vodka from a height of at least one meter.
Swill glass twice, clockwise. Serve and enjoy.

BISON CHAMPAGNE is designed for multiple drinkers and not suitable for lone drinks.

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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Skyenet » Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:01 pm


Battle order:
Some spuds (a handful if you're feminine southern european, less than a handful if you're a big, manly northern european)
4 eggs
Half an onion (no french onions permitted)
Garlic (tons)
Chopped spinach
Salt and pepper to taste

Battle tactics:
Slice spuds into ~1/3rd to 1/2 cm slices and parboil for 5 minutes
Slice onion finely and chop garlic
Toss onion and garlic into a buttered frying pan to brown
Beat eggs, spinach, salt and pepper in a bowl
Add more butter to pan
Drain spuds and spread evenly across the frying pan, mixing well with onions
Pour egg and spinach mix over and allow to set on medium heat until you feel like it
Grate some cheese over it you fat bastard and toss it under the grill to finish
Eat all of it even if you say you'll save some for later

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