Continent of Dreams

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Questers
Patriotic SMSian
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2016 4:24 pm

Re: Continent of Dreams

Postby Questers » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:12 pm

CALLING

CALLING is a girls monthly magazine aimed at 14-21 year olds. An annual subscription costs ($249) and CALLING is not sold in any shops or airports, only by subscription. It is mostly centred around the Oryontic and Axackal cities or the very large inland cities such as Jesselton, Ambala, and Kuantan.

Hi there August Girls!

Last week saw the marriage of Sir Sandy Robinson-Holmes in Landing. As we could have expected, the wedding was something to witness. It had everything that a young lady could dream of. Luckily, Calling was invited to attend, so we're here to give you all the details of just what bachelors are available. As usual, all available bachelors looking for the right women are listed on the Persons Card found in this month's copy, with their details. So get letter-writing, ladies!

Our Bachelor of the Month is, by unanimous decision of all involved (Ed: More like you bribed the board with carrot cake, Char...), Captain Jahan Parker Roland Esquire, heir to the Roland family business, an officer of the Queen's Own Lancers, and the star of the wedding ball-room. Classical dancing is just one of Captain Roland's many skills, and CALLING's fashion editor even went so far to say that he was sartorially gifted - so if it's a well-dressed gentleman you're looking for, Jahan might be your number one choice. He is currently on active service in the Frontier, but there's no need to be worried. Jahan told your reporter he was fully chaste - but he did add a rogueish wink to that, so don't hesitate to snap up this good offer while you can. Jahan especially likes ladies on the taller and fuller side; dark hair and green eyes make him melt, apparently. Get out there and melt yourself a Captain of Cavalry.

August is a Serene Month to propose for a hand in marriage. It's blessed - CALLING can now report (Ed: But lips sealed ladies, this is classified information) that Her Royal and Most Serene Highness Rabihah Abdullah Afiz has sealed the knot. Who's the lucky fella? No other than Sundera Harran Singh, the first-born son of the His Excellency the Dukesardar of Ambala. Sundera (21), proposed two weeks ago to Rabibah (18). Apparently, Sundear has never even met Rabihah, but thinks she's the most beautiful princess in all Crataea, and wrote directly to the Sultan asking for her hand in marriage. Rumours and drama flew through the Royal Household as Her Majesty apparently disagreed with the coupling. It is said that The Sultan, impressed by Lieutenant Singh's boldness, flew lucky Sundera back to the palace on his own jetliner in order to present him to Her Majesty and persuade her. If it really happened, it must have worked.

The wedding is set for November. And guess what - this month's edition of CALLING has five tickets to give away in a raffle. Just write to us explaining why you think any man that you know - and you must know him personally - would be a good match for the Sultan's older and still unmarried daughter, Seniya, and the best five entries will get to attend the most famous wedding of the year...
[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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Questers
Patriotic SMSian
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2016 4:24 pm

Re: Continent of Dreams

Postby Questers » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:55 pm

It was common knowledge in the village that Adi had a mistress, but Sofiya did not believe it - or anything any other townspeople told her - until she found the evidence, which she did by reading Adi's "work" phone when he was flat out on the sofa from too much arak. She did not say anything, but decided then to take her revenge.

She went up to the old house, just by the side of the pepper plantation, and there she visited the witch, the bomoh. The bomoh eeked out a meagre existence by selling traditional potions made from unusual ingredients which all the townspeople swore cured things like gout and syphillis and bad dreams, but nobody went to that house without feeling a little bit on edge. Other than Sofiya, of course, who barged her way in on a morning and demanded the bomoh put a curse on her idiotic husband.

Not for free, the bomoh said. I need money.

I am a housewife and I haven't any money or anything else, Sofiya said.

In that case, the bomoh said, I want a new cellphone. Come back with a new cellphone, one of the ones I can watch Tairendian dramas on, and some of your husbands hair.

So Sofiya took out a loan in her husbands name and bought the cellphone and the hair and the bomoh went to work. A few days later, Sofiya went back, and the bomoh said - in time, your husband will wilt and die, like an old plant. Sofiya was happy with this. Not weeks later, Adi became ill. He was confined to bed, and drank only corn soup. Sofiya could not hide her glee. You are going to die, she said to her husband, you big fat lazy idiot, because the bomoh has put a curse on you.

Of course, Adi did not die, because people generally do not die from goat-curry and arak induced gastro-entitis, not even in Questers and not even in Herat, so when he was well Adi went to the local magistrate and told him that this bomoh had tried to put a curse on him. Well, look, the magistrate said, there's not really any proof that it was the curse, even if it was real, that put you under. Even your doctor says it's because of your lifestyle. But why don't you try to to the Duke, because if that bomoh lives on his land, she's in real big trouble.

So Adi took the day off work and went up to the Duke's political office and told the Duke's agent that this stupid witch had put a curse on him. The agent, being a Heratan himself, was sympathetic. It probably was the curse that made you sick, he said. (It helped that he did not know Adi). You never know what these bomohs are capable of. I'll see what I can do for you.

The bomoh's house, unfortunately for her, was on the Duke's land. She knew this, since she was paying rent to him, so the Duke's men came and bulldozed her house and took her to the court, where all the townsfolk declared that yes, she was a bomoh. So the Duke's men said, look, you agreed not to do this when you were living on His Grace's land, so we're going to put you in the stocks for three days. Which is what they did. After that, they kicked her out of Herat and now she lives, so they say, in a squat in Kuantan, where she still practices witchcraft.

For all his sins, Adi reformed and became a loyal husband to Sofiya. But when they tried to have a child, the child did not come. Somewhere out there, in a dirty Kuantan squat, there's an old bomoh, laughing her days away, and selling potions made of lemongrass to deaf children.
[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy


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