ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Pint of bitter?

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North Point
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby North Point » Tue May 07, 2019 6:00 pm

Cast Iron Steaks by Ian

Battle order:
- 12" cast iron skillet (recommend Lodge or Le Creuset brand)
- Splatter guard for pan
- Tin foil
- Tongs

Ingredients:
- New York Strip, filet, or sirloin steak (your preference)
- Butter
- Rosemary sprig (one per steak)
- Garlic (2 cloves per steak)
- Salt/pepper

Steps:

1. Season steaks on all sides with salt and pepper. Peel garlic and crush with flat of knife. Preheat oven to 450 F / 230 C.

2. Heat 1tbsp of butter in pan until shimmering, but not smoking - medium-high to high heat.

3. Sear steaks 2 min per side - note: steaks should SIZZLE when you put them into the pan, if they aren't sizzlin the pan isn't hot enough. Cover the pan with the splatterguard or some tin foil.

4. Add garlic cloves and 1tbsp of additional butter to the pan. Position garlic cloves near the side of each steak. Add a rosemary sprig atop each steak.

5. Move cast iron pan with steaks into the oven and let cook for 5-7 min, depending on thickness and temperature. 5 min is perfect for steaks about 1" thick to be right between medium-rare and medium.

6. Remove pan from oven and move steaks to a plate. Cover with tin foil and let rest for 4-5 min. Discard rosemary, but save garlic :)

6. Serve with vegetables and ENJOI.

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Questers
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Questers » Tue May 07, 2019 6:10 pm

Imperial Salmon by Matt

Battle order:
- Frying pan or skillet
- Two small or medium oven trays
- One sauce pan

Ingredients:
- Small potatoes; new or charlotte (charlotte best)
- Salmon; skinless, if possible
- Asparagus; fine, if possible
- Half lemon
- Rocket
- Rosemary sprig
- Olive oil
- Curry powder, salt, sugar, black pepper; freshly cracked if possible

Steps:

Potato:
- Cut potatoes into small amounts, or don't if they're already small; peeling unneccessary. Par-boil for 10 minutes on high heat until potatoes are soft but not broken.
- Smash potatoes; not into small bits, just so that their structure is damaged.
- Oven should be preheated to around 220C/Gas Mark 7. Toss potatoes in olive oil and add salt and black pepper, add rosemary spring, into oven until potatoes are as crispy as you want. Probably 30m max.

Asparagus:
Asparagus goes into oven for 16 minutes at Gas Mark 7 with potatoes. Drizzle some olive oil and add salt and black pepper to taste. They do not really need to be turned if you don't want.

Salmon:
- On a plate, place a fair amount of sugar, salt, and curry powder, in equal proportion. You will have some left over afterwards.
- Score the salmon, and roll it in this mixture until fully coated.
- Fry salmon on high-moderate (not too high) heat until cooked to your preference. Two minutes on each side will ensure cooked through for a normal sized piece.

Serving:
Salmon on top of asparagus laid out; rocket and potatoes on the side. You may add some ground dried dill or parsley to the salmon as a garnish. Finally, cut your lemon in half (first, roll it manfully upon a hard surface, to allow it to juice) and sprinkle over salmon & asparagus to taste.
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[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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Wolo
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Wolo » Tue May 07, 2019 6:12 pm

Potage ala Wolo
RECIPE FOR THE PREPARATION OF 4 PORTIONS OF A HEARTY AND FORTIFYING MEAL, LOW IN COST AND ASSEMBLED FROM INGREDIENTS PRESENT IN ANY PANTRY.

INGREDIENTS
100 GRAMS Split Pulses (Red lentils and split peas are PARTICULARLY SUITABLE)
80 GRAMS Grains (PEARL BARLEY or OATS are RECOMMENDED)
1-2 MEDIUM ONIONS, diced
1 CUP of FRESH/FROZEN PEAS or GREEN VEGETABLES of your choosing (AVOID Brassicas)
SUFFICIENT AMOUNTS of BUTTER or LARD
1 LITRE of STOCK (Chicken and Pork stock are RECOMMENDED)
MEAT, OF YOUR CHOOSING (SMOKED PORK PRODUCTS are RECOMMENDED, particularly "cooking bacon" which is cheap and typically thick cut)
NEUTRAL VINEGAR (distilled, rice etc.)
SALT & PEPPER to taste
1 BAY LEAF


METHOD

1. In a heavy bottomed pot on a med-high heat, melt butter/lard. Fry onions and meat until browned. Add CRACKED BLACK PEPPER and BAY LEAF and fry for approximately 30-60 seconds until fragrant Deglaze pan with neutral tasting vinegar (distilled, rice etc.) If desired, meat and onions can be fried separately, so the meat can be reserved to retain texture.

2. Add stock and bring to a boil, add lentils and cook for 10 MINUTES. After which, reduce to a low simmer.

3. Add grains and peas, simmer for 15 MINUTES. Be MINDFUL as the potage will thicken quickly, add more stock/water when needed to retain desired texture. Season to taste.

4. Serve IMMEDIATELY.

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Questers
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Questers » Tue May 07, 2019 6:17 pm

Gin for the Far East by Matt

Take one high ball glass and put into this glass ice until this glass is full with ice. Into this glass, pour any gin until said gin occupies one half of the glass. Into this mixture again pour any kind of mixer until glass is full. Add half lemon slice. Following mixtures produce following effects:

Tonic: Your drink will be heavily bittered but will taste strongly of gin. Effect — sobering.

Bitter lemon: Your drink will be heavily bittered but will taste strongly of lemon, with undernotes of gin. Effect — ease of drinkage.

Lemonade: Your drink will be hardly bittered at all, but will take the characters of a warm English summer in a terrible tropic heat. Effect — refreshing.
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[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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Questers
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Questers » Tue May 07, 2019 6:27 pm

Twenty hundred calorie pasta by Matt

Battle Order:
Two saucepans

Ingredients:
Pasta - Rigatoni, penne, conchliglie
Garlic
Chicken, or pork; if vegetarian, substitute with green beans
Red, yellow, or orange peppers
Brocolli
Birds eye chillis
Salt/pepper
Double cream (heavy cream as Americans call it); if you can get extra double cream, better.

Steps:
1. Fry garlic and as many red chillis as you can handle, plus one extra. You may add shallots if you desire. Fry this mixture until fragrant.

2. Add your meat and fry with mixture until browned.

3. Add your peppers and fry briefly.

4. Add heavy cream and salt and pepper and allow to simmer. Add a little water, but you want your mixture to be thick and for there to be enough liquid to cover all the pasta.

5. Cook pasta, steam or boil broccoli.

6. Add cooked pasta to heavy cream mix and stir, bring to boil and then simmer. And broccoli, mix, and serve.
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[Tue 22:53:29] <colo> holy shit you are the fucking worst guy

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North Point
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby North Point » Tue May 07, 2019 6:29 pm

General Slim's Steak & Eggs by Ian

Battle order:
- 12" cast iron skillet (recommend Lodge or Le Creuset brand)
- Splatter guard for pan
- Medium to large size non-stick skillet
- Tin foil
- Tongs
- Spatula

Ingredients:
- New York Strip, sirloin, flank, or ribeye steak (your preference - flank and ribeye more appropriate for breakfast)
- Butter
- Rosemary sprig (one per steak)
- Salt/pepper
- Eggs (generally 2 per person)
- Frozen hash browns
- Avocado oil or similar high smoke point oil
- Trader Joe's smoked paprika
- Avocados (one per person)
- Yellowbird brand habanero hot sauce
- Ketchup

1. Preheat oven to 450 F / 230 C. Season steaks all over with salt and pepper. Defrost frozen hashbrowns.

2. Heat the non-stick pan on the stove over medium-high heat. Add 1tbsp of oil once pan is hot.

3. Add hashbrowns to non-stick pan, breaking up if still frozen. Once broken up and distributed, season heavily with salt, pepper, and smoked paprika. Cook (stirring occasionally) in the pan until crispy and golden, then turn off heat. Move onto next steps while hashbrowns cook.

4. Add 1tbsp of butter to the cast iron pan. Heat over medium-high to high heat until butter is shimmering, but not yet smoking.

5. Sear steaks 2 min per side - note: steaks must sizzle when added to pan, if they aren't sizzling the pan isn't hot enough. Use splatterguard to reduce smoke and prevent mess.

6. Add rosemary sprigs atop each steak.

7. Move cast iron pan with steaks into the oven and let cook for 5-7 min, depending on thickness and temperature. 5 min is perfect for steaks about 1" thick to be right between medium-rare and medium.

8. Remove pan from oven and move steaks to a plate. Cover with tin foil and let rest for 4-5 min. Discard rosemary.

9. Leave the cooking juices in the cast iron pan. Add 0.5tbsp of butter to the cast iron pan and heat over low heat - but note the pan will already be hot from the oven. Cook eggs sunny side up in the cast iron pan.

10. Cut up avocados.

11. Transfer steaks to plates - divide the resting juices between steaks. Distribute hashbrowns, avocados, and eggs evenly. Serve with ketchup, habanero hot sauce, and coffee (if breakfast time) or Bloody Mary if lunch time.

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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Dumanum » Tue May 07, 2019 6:35 pm

MurderFuel™ by Doom

DISCLAIMERS: IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT THIS BEVERAGE BE CONSUMED ONLY BY INDIVIDUALS WITH A BODY MASS EXCEEDING 180LB

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR ANGRY DRUNJS OR ORNERY FUCKERS

Battle order:
-A glass. Or a mug. Or empty water/gatorade bottle. Something that can contain liquid that you can easily drink out of.

Ingredients:
-Jack Daniels Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey
-Monster Energy Assault (the red one)

Scheme of maneuver:
1. Fill container approximately half way with Jack.

2. Fill rest with Monster.

3. Stir. If using a water or gatorade bottle, cap and then shake.

4. Sip, do not chug.

Imbued with the power of this liquid, you will be nigh unstoppable in the conduct of any of ZMZ's ordinary nighttime activities.

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North Point
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby North Point » Tue May 07, 2019 6:43 pm

1959 Old Fashioneds by Ian

Battle order:
- Rocks glasses
- Muddler
- Cocktail spoon
- Jigger (shot glass also works)
- Cocktail knife
- Large ice cube maker (round or square, your preference)

Ingredients:
- Bourbon or rye whiskey (Bulleit, Tin Cup, or Maker's Mark some good options)
- Luxxardo cherries (do not use regular cheap maraschinos)
- Agave nectar, or sugar cubes
- Angostura bitters
- Large ice cubes
- Orange

Steps:

1. Place a sugar cube (or 1tsp agave nectar) in each rocks glass.

2. Add heavy dash of bitters atop sugar cube or agave nectar.

3. Add 70mL (about one and a half shots) of whiskey to each glass.

4. Muddle the mixture (especially important if using sugar cubes).

5. Carefully add an ice cube to each glass using a spoon (don't splash all the whiskey out...)

6. Add a single Luxxardo cherry to each glass. If less sugar is desired, add only the cherry and not the cherry juice.

7. Stir the drink vigorously with the cocktail spoon.

8. Rub an orange peel along the rim of the glass, then add to drink.

9. Serve immediately and enjoy. Flavor will change as ice melts.

Dumanum
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Re: ZMZ Cookbook: Fine Recipes

Postby Dumanum » Tue May 07, 2019 6:59 pm

ChiggenTit Recipe #1 by Doom

Battle order:
-Cooking tray
-Tinfoil

Ingredients:
-Chiggentits
-Extra virgin olive oil
-Cayenne pepper
-Smoked paprika
-Garlic powder
-Onion powder
-Salt

Scheme of maneuver:
1. Remove any and all measuring implements from the premises. Measuring is for cowards and centrists.
2. Preheat oven to 475F.
3. Lay sheet of tinfoil sufficiently large enough to encase an individual chiggentit.
4. Pour some olive oil on it.
5. Rub chiggentit in said olive oil, taking care to generously coat all sides.
6. Lay chiggentit on sheet.
7. Apply salt.
8. Apply light sheet of onion powder, covering the entire breadth of that side but not too thickly.
9. Apply heavier coat of garlic powder, moving shaker laterally and upward across the chiggentit to ensure even coating.
10. Apply paprika. Bare spots are acceptable, but the chiggentit should be mostly red by the end.
11. Apply cayenne pepper. Chigggentit should be completely red when finished.
12. Flip chiggentit and repeat on opposite side.
13. Any bare spots that you could not properly apply ingredients to, such as on the sides, should be rubbed in the mixture of ingredients that should have accumulated around the chiggentit on the sheet.
14. Seal chiggentit in tinfoil wrap.
15. Repeat as necessary for other individual chiggentits.
16. Place tray of chiggentits in oven for 10-12 minutes before flipping, depending on mass and girth of said chiggentits. Remove from oven after they have baked an additional 10-12 minutes.
17. Allow them to rest for 5-10 minutes.
18. Serve on sufficiently large plate with the chiggentits still wrapped in tinfoil alongside the sides of your choice.


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